what is an artist?

Back in California, home again. It was so cold the day I left New York City that my plane sat on the runway for almost an hour as they tried to defrost the water tank. In the end, we were told we could flush the toilets, but there wasn't enough water for everyone to wash their hands and we should use the soap that you don't need water for. OR they could cancel the flight. A minor riot started at that suggestion and everyone agreed that washing hands with water was not necessary. Six hours later, in Oakland, Drew drove me home from the airport with the windows rolled down at 10 pm. The flowers on the plum trees in our neighborhood are starting to bud, an event I look forward to every February. As much I love and adore New York City, three weeks is clearly too long to be away from the Bay Area.

As I unpack my bags, check on the studio, organize my orders, I've been asking myself some serious questions about the direction my career has taken in the last year. It's been a year since I started doing the Gift show, I've shown up three times, and I wonder if I belong there. While it's been an exciting challenge to be in a world marketplace and compete on that level, I don't feel like it's much of a creative challenge. It doesn't make me a better artist, and for the first time at this last show, I didn't feel like an artist. I took more orders on the first day than I did the whole week at the August show, and instead of feeling excited and happy, I just felt sort of doomed. I definitely noticed how crappy I felt because usually when I sell a lot of my work, I want to drink a bunch of wine, have a great dinner with friends, and I can't wait to get back to the studio and make new work. But all I felt was an overwhelming sense of dread.

I think the bottom line is that when I'm at the Gift show, I'm representing this line of product that is made under the label of "Whitney Smith Pottery". Most people passing by or stopping in my booth don't identify me as "Whitney Smith" or understand that what they are looking at is something I make with my hands. My pottery is nothing more than merchandise-- albeit beautiful merch, but nothing more than that. I don't have to let that bother me. In fact I can just laugh my way all the way to the bank. Problem is, I started making pottery so I would have an outlet to create something that would please me, and always challenge me to do better and be the most amazing artist I could possibly be.

So then the next question is, can I do both? I look back at the last year and I have to say that so far the answer is "no". 2006 was one of the most difficult years for me since I started working as a potter full-time in 2000, mostly because I've been under constant pressure to fill orders, and had very little time to explore and create new work. My sketch books are packed with unfulfilled ideas, dreams, and inspiration, and that does not make me feel happy or fulfilled as an artist. When I think of canceling my New York show in August, all I feel is an incredible sense of relief. No disappointment or regret.

The ideas I'm putting out there in this posting is an ongoing discussion that I have with all of my artist friends, balancing the money with the art. I would like it if every single person who is reading this post would take a minute to make a comment on what they think about what I've written.

sleepwalkers at the MOMA

Myself and a group of friends made a trip to the MOMA a couple of weeks ago to see Doug Aitkin's outdoor video installation, which is being projected onto the outer walls of the MOMA at night through Feb 7. It was nice going to see this without any preconceived notion of what the installation was about or even what it was called. The narrative was focused on 5 different people, and the videos were being projected simultaneously around the building, all at different points in the loop of the video.
As I watched it, trying to catch the narrative, I was making my own narrative. I thought how much we are all connected by despair. Other, happier emotions too, but despair, a sense of disconnection, loneliness, and a kind of boredom with the repetition of life. I never envy anybody's life because I know that no matter how successful, how rich, or seemingly perfect, most people are struggling to get through life and avoid as much pain as possible. Nobody has it easy.
The installation was called "Sleepwalkers", and as it turned out, focused on people who are working the night shift. I loved it.

just another fashion show in my glamorous life

My friend Waleed and his design partner, Julia, showed their Winter 2007 collection at the Baryshnikov Center yesterday afternoon. This is their fourth collection for his company, Naum, and each season is better than the last, not only in terms of the clothes, but how smoothly the whole thing happens. I was especially pleased because this was a show that almost didn't happen. A fashion show is incredibly expensive to pull off, and everything rides on the "right" people showing up, specifically, the right press people.

Waleed's and my life are strangely parallel at times. We both have big important shows in New York within a week of each other in summer and winter, and how the next 6 months are going to go depends on what happens at these events. Like me, Waleed's company suffered a blow last August during fashion week when one important style editor did not show up to see their 2007 Spring Collection, and Style.com declined to review their show without giving an explanation. It was a very low point for all of us. I felt at the time that there was simply no support for me or my amazing friends, and I was depressed by the whole thing. Waleed informed me in November that there would be no official show for Naum during Winter fashion week, a big disappointment for all concerned.

Then in December, a big turnaround and a minor miracle. Waleed and Julia won the Ecco Domani Fashion Foundation award, which gave them the cash infusion needed to put on a show and participate in Fashion Week. Julia and Waleed, who both work for other designers full-time, somehow managed to create a collection of 31 looks in a matter of weeks. And because of the all the free press and the prestige of winning the Domani award, the RSVP's from all the right people came rolling in.


I love being at the Naum shows because I usually serve as a point person and I get to check out all the backstage happenings, help keep things organized and running, as well as just be a part of a really important event for my friend. I also always spot Baryshnikov himself, which is a huge thrill for me. This time I sat in the press pit and got some great pictures which I will upload as soon as I get home!

color contemplation

The Pace-Wildenstein Gallery is currently showing Robert Irwin's work, “Who’s Afraid of Red, Yellow, and Blue?” The gallery is unlit except for the natural light streaming in through the ceiling. The panels of color—one suspended, one mirroring it laying on the floor—set a mood of reflection and color contemplation. I was particularly entranced by the blue panels, which seemd watery and almost metallic as you gazed at it.

beautiful pottery at garth clark gallery

One of the people who influenced me early on to get involved with clay is my old friend David. We met when I was just out of high school and he was already pursuing a degree in clay at Philadelphia College of the Arts. He lives in New York City now and works out of the Greenwich House Pottery. When I am in town, we always tour all the galleries and museums together. This afternoon we popped into Garth Clark Gallery on 56th Street. I love this gallery; it's a small gem of a space and they always have an outstanding pottery exhibition. I was inspired by the exhibit today of Gwyn Hanssen Piggott. She throws these beautifuly delicate bowls and cups, with thin rims and soft glazes that remind me of the colored eggs araucana chickens lay. My friend Bronwyn happened to give me a collection of eggs from her araucana hens that she raises in her backyard in West Oakland right before I left for New York, so the colors have been on my mind.

Many of Gwyn Hanssen Piggott's vessels have a different colored glaze on the inside, which creates a very soft and delicate mood. I always love the contrast of a different colored glaze on the inside of vessels. Along with the cups and bowls were sturdier bottle forms. The pieces were assembled as a still life, which was a lovely way to see everyday functional objects. It made me stop and think again about that tension between "art" and "craft". I would write more about what I think on that subject, but it's been another busy day in New York City for me, and I'm off to bed!

chelsea billboard

new york

With the help of my friends-- Joanna who helped me glaze the remainder of my work, my fab husband who unloaded and reloaded kilns, Sidney who folded and stuffed my new brochure, Sara who packed my work, and Bronwyn who helped me get it to the FedEx-- I managed to get off to New York City without a hitch despite not having much use of my left arm. I have always said that I have the best friends and most amazing people in my life, and in an emergency like I had with my arm and trying to get ready for the New York trade show, it's great to be proven right again.

My arm at this moment is doing so much better. Very little pain and I am quickly regaining movement. I will be in New York for three weeks and I think by the time I get home I will be almost as good as new.

When I stay in New York I live with my dearest and oldest friend, Waleed, who has a great apartment in the Chelsea district, which is also the heart of the New York Gallery district. When I come to New York for the trade show, I usually stay an extra week or two so I have time to visit the galleries and museums, and visit with my circle of friends who live here. I also like to stick around for Fashion Week because Waleed, a clothing designer, always has a show and he also usually needs an Errand Girl (me) in the days leading up to the actual show.

Yesterday I went to the Japan Society to check out their exhibition of some contemporary Japanese potters. It's rare that I have time to check out pottery, and this was a wonderful exhibit to see. There were a few pieces I found especially inspiring, like Yagi Akira's work to the right here. I love to make nested forms, and I love the idea of nested forms that fit inside each other. I can't wait to get back to work and give it a shot! I also saw a set of 22 nested bowls, the smallest one thrown with a needle and a magnifying glass. At first I thought that it would have been a lot easier for the artist to just pinch it out, a tiny little bowl like that. But then I realized that the challenge is to throw each piece on the wheel to maintain the integrity of the set. I'm not as anxious to try throwing with a needle, but I love to think about someone else doing it.