ready to jump

Today was another in what is becoming a series of difficult days. The details are boring, only because I've been talking about it so much I can't stand to go over it again right now. Suffice to say that when it's all over, and my world is right again, I will write a post about the hell that my life has become. I overstate it, I know. I should be grateful for my many blessings, thank god or whoever that I have the ability to do what I do, and my problems are small compared to so many who are really suffering with disease, starvation, blah blah blah. My man at the factory, Hector, suggested I meditate. Things have gotten so bad I'm actually considering it.

This afternoon, as I wrapped up a gigantic order for a fab new store in New York, Antara Home, my angst was so deep I left the studio and called my pal, Laura Zindel. Laura used to be a Bay Area potter, and I still have the bottle with a hand drawn dung beetle on it that I traded for at a show the very first time we met. That was almost 10 years ago. Laura now lives in Vermont and no longer hand draws each dung beetle on her pots, because her business has gotten so big and demand is such that she has a full-on factory/production studio happening. I knew she was the right person to talk me off the ledge, because she has been there when shit ain't goin' right, and you have a client breathing down your neck, and the fucking glaze is fucked and turning black, or the plates are warping and cracking, or the kiln decided to go insane and overfire everything.

Laura told me a hideous story about trying to fill a monster order for-- a girl's favorite store-- Anthropologie. I hope Laura will tell the story when she guest blogs on Diana Fayt's blog next month, because it truly illustrates the expression, "watch what you wish for". I've been praying for the Anthropologies, the Barneys, all the big stores and names to come knocking, and I've been dutifully preparing myself for just that. But I'm gradually realizing, big orders don't equal big happiness. In fact, it can just equal big stress. I think I can handle it, but right now I'm still on the learning curve. And wondering if I know what I really want. I think I do, but when I realize the pressure that comes with running a big, successful production pottery business, I wonder if growth is the answer for me, and if my marriage could survive it. I'm going to finish off the bottle of wine I started and think about it.

no such thing as bad publicity

I got some good press from California Home + Design, a nice glossy regional magazine. Of course I was totally horrified by the picture they used of me and asked the same question I always ask when photos of me are published, "Why do they have to pick a picture of me that looks so bad?" I'm really vain so I always want to look fabulous in pictures, but unfortunately I'm not all that photogenic. I'm so happy when I see a decent picture of myself. By the way, I'm not writing any of this to fish for compliments, I know the picture could have been a lot worse. An article was written about me in the San Francisco Chronicle a couple of years back and the picture they used of me was so bad and I looked about 20 pounds heavier than I was. And it wasn't me being paranoid about looking fat, because right after the picture was published I had a show and bunches of people looked at the article and looked at me and said, "Wow, you've really lost some weight!" Christa loves this picture, she said I looked really tough and like I was about to punch somebody. In our world, that's kind of cool. And the weird thing was, there was an article on the last page of the magazine about Beatrice Wood. I've never paid any attention to Beatrice Wood until I read her autobiography I Shock Myself earlier this year and realized how much we have in common. That was a neat little connection. Click on the picture if you want to read the article.

kansas city

Work at the studio is totally backed up at the moment: wholesale and retail orders in various stages of being ready to ship, a show in Santa Monica this weekend, the five-figure order still pending, and some where in there I'm getting ready to leave for Japan on July 1st. I can't think of a better time to take off for 5 days and move my girl Christa cross country in a U-Haul to her new hometown and new job at the Art Institute in Kansas City. We talked so much as we drove across the midwest, the radio was not turned on even once. By the time we crossed the last bridge into Missouri, the studio and all my stress was so far behind me and I was completely in the moment. Christa and I are always so busy with work at our studios; downtime to talk about life outside ceramics is an indulgence and a pleasure.

First stop was Andy Brayman's ceramic studio/playland where Christa's new studio will be located. I rarely get jealous over what other people have, but I was feeling the twinge when I walked into Andy's place. The space is enormous, three floors. There was all the ceramic equipment and accouterments one could want in life, plus motorcycles, skateboards, tons of design books, a freight elevator, two loading docks, roll-up doors... not to mention interns. I ask again, where are my interns, dammit? He has a pottery decal business going on top of his ceramic work, and I was totally inspired thinking about what I could create with decals on my pottery. All of those really intricate designs I don't have the patience to carve on my pottery I could just draw out and stick it on...

Too many adventures were packed into the trip to even begin to recount here, but it involved people, animals, boats, bbq, and beer. I met some amazing artists and new pals, got some serious quality time with one of my special friends, was thoroughly charmed by Kansas City, and came back to my stress-packed life thinking that maybe it ain't so bad.

help wanted

After a mini-meltdown on Sunday-- yes, working on a Sunday-- my mother suggested I put it out on my blog that I need more help in the studio. So here it is:

Basically, my assistant needs an assistant. This will entail a lot of prep type jobs: mixing glaze, cleaning bisqueware, finishing work on small molded items, assembling orders, keeping the studio clean, and whatever other small jobs need to get done. Experience with clay is desirable, but not absolutely necessary. What is necessary is that you are a quick study, detail-oriented, work efficiently and well with your hands, and love ceramics.

I would like someone who can start as an intern for 6 weeks. That is enough time to determine if you will fit in at the studio, at which time I'll hire you. Pay will depend on your experience and abilities.

I offer a fun and high energy work environment where you will learn a lot about pottery production. There is also opportunity to make your own work in the off hours in my studio for people who need access to more studio time. If you are interested in this job, send me an email with your qualifications and a phone number. If you know someone who might be interested in this job, send them this posting!

real life again

Landed back home in Oakland yesterday to a mountain of work I can't make sense of and completely unable to function without the daily nap I've been taking every afternoon for the past 10 days. It's amazing how quickly an extra hour of sleep in the afternoon becomes essential while on vacation. Thankfully my assistant Sara did a more than competent job of holding the fort down and making sure everything didn't collapse while I was gone. She did a much better job than most people could be expected to do-- stepping into my shoes while I go to Maine for naps-- yet she felt she should have done more and done it better. I love overachievers.

Since Charlie and Terrill moved to Maine back in January, Andrew and I have really missed having them in our daily lives. I think we crammed 4 months of worth of our usual activities into the 10 days we spent with them, which included exactly 5 different things:

1. Cooking and eating outrageously fattening gourmet meals, including organic beef from Kelly's down the road and dozens of eggs from another farmer in the opposite direction. I also ate fiddlehead ferns for the first time ever.
2. Consuming vast quantities of wine every evening.
3. Playing in Terrill and Charlie's new glassblowing studio. Another first: blowing glass. After watching Charlie and Terrill effortlessly blow amazing glass for such a long time I figured I was ready to give it a shot. I could not believe how difficult it was to just do the blowing part, much less twirl the pipe to keep the glass on center while I was doing it. The picture above is Charlie helping me with my first piece, which can only be described as a collapsed silicone boob. Note the look of intense concentration on my face, and the look of infinite patience on Charlie's.
4. Long conversations about every angle involved in blowing glass, throwing clay, and selling work.
   
5. Cruising the Maine countryside in search of beer, food, and cute roadside farm animals.

After 7 days in rural Maine we all went to New York City for a few days of visiting friends (me) and checking out the International Contemporary Furniture Fair (them). Another day we went to the Cooper-Hewitt Design Museum and also visited the famous design and home accessories store Moss. I am really interested in how "design" is a word being used to uplift "craft". Moss is a fascinating example of this; most items for sale are encased in glass display cases, not unlike what you would see at a museum. I've noticed how the word "designer" is more commonly being used to replace the word "artist". I was recently featured in a write-up on Apartment Therapy and I was described as a designer. I would describe myself primarily as an artist, a designer has a different connotation to me and I haven't worked out my feelings on this subject yet, so we'll leave that discussion for another day.

I'm only home for a few days then I'm off again to help Christa move to Kansas City for her new plum job at the Art Institute. I have a thousand things that need to get done between now and then, so I'm off!

a friend's success

I'm on vacation, so it's great to get to write about what my friends are up to with their work instead. My oldest friend Waleed is on elle.com today, with a feature about his work for Cynthia Steffe. I'm so proud of him!

neccessary vacation

Andrew and I are in Maine visiting Terrill and Charlie at their new house/compound/glassblowing studio for a week, then we are all off to New York City for the Furniture Show. I left my computer at home, a decision that took a lot more time to come to than it should have, but I realized that taking my computer on vacation makes me one of those people who... takes their computer on vacation. Obviously I'm still working on a computer here, but at least it's not mine. The great thing is that as I sit here in Maine, I'm getting orders off my new website, so I'm making money while I'm on vacation, which is something I've been trying to pull off for years.