Wednesday, November 07, 2012

choosing wellness

I'm sick right now. I started getting sick last week when I took the week off to go to Yosemite, and a couple of days into my trip, my throat started tingling. That is always my first warning sign, my illnesses always start in the throat. By the time I got home a few days later, I was in full-blown sickness mode. Sickness mode for me means I feel like crap, but I pretty much do what I do everyday without my normal infusions of coffee and alcohol. This is a completely different mode from my husband, who when he gets sick, collapses on the bed and doesn't get up until he feels better. He also likes to moan that he is dying, and makes me wait on him. He won't even get out of bed for a glass of water, I have to bring it to him.  The result of these two different modes is that I tend to have lingering coughs that can go on for days or weeks,  while Andrew is usually better within a week.

Even though on Sunday night I was feeling so sick I could not even get interested in dinner, on Monday I went to the studio to work. By 3 pm I was exhausted and totally congested, not to mention unsatisfied with the work I made. On Tuesday, I decided to try the bed thing. I have not lain in bed all day since I was a child.  It sounds fun as a concept, especially with a stack of library books and my iPad to keep me company, but in fact it was depressing. It was sunny and almost 80 degrees out, and I kept thinking how nice it would be to work on the garden. I watched movies, followed the election, and took medicine. I thought I could get some work done on the computer, but every time I tried to do something work-related, I fell asleep.

We have a friend staying with us right now, and he was encouraging me to stay in bed while throwing throat lozenges and decongestants at me from the safety of the bedroom door. I complained that not only was I sick, I was getting depressed from laying around all day. He said, "Maybe you could look at it as just choosing wellness, an accept it for whatever form it takes." That was the best thing to say to me, because as usual, I was holding myself to an impossible standard: wanting to do things healthy people do even though I was sick, judging myself for falling short, then getting depressed because of it. That is so my world in a nutshell.

So today, I actually do feel better. I'm not going to lay in bed all day again, but I am going to take it easy, try to choose wellness, and not judge myself for it.


  1. I do think women tend to push on when ill - especially when they have young children or a business of their own. So take care of yourself, listen to your body and get well soon.

  2. "Choosing wellness" next time I am sick, I will try to remember this.

    Take care of yourself and soon you will be back in the studio!

  3. Sarah8:56 AM

    Feel better soon! As mother of two, I can relate to taking longer to heal. Recently all members of my family were stricken with various illnesses, from strep to sinus infections, myself included. It took me a week longer than anyone else to heal because I was so busy ensuring everyone else was on the road to wellness. Such is the life of a mother, and, well, a woman in general. you are wise to listen to what your body needs for once!

  4. Years ago when I lived in SF I kept getting strep throat; finally the doctor said if I got strep throat again I'd have to have my tonsils out, never had strep throat again, strange.

    Nowadays, whenever we start to get sick we take the Wellness Formula which we get at the health food store, it's herbs and vitamins all rolled up into one caplet and it seems to work for us, hope you are doing better.

  5. This sounds so familiar.

  6. I agree with Anna, I think it's definitely a female trait - I'm the same I have a reluctance to 'give in' to being ill to an extent.

  7. Michelle4:03 PM

    When I get sick, I immediately start taking Zicam chewables every three hours. A cold that would usually last two weeks now only lasts 3-4 days, and it's very mild. I don't usually miss any studio time because of it. I swear by those things.