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This is a gratitude tree in my neighborhood.
I found it on my walk two days ago. |
I've been thinking about gratitude, and the lack of it I've been feeling lately. I'm catching myself having a lot of unpleasant thoughts with a whiny edge. Things like wondering why a person didn't write me back to place a possible order, instead of thinking about the person who did just place an order for the exact same thing. Or worrying about a super slow week on Etsy and thinking it's all over for me, I'm washed up, instead of thinking about the super fat order I got off my website. Or wanting to resist a deadline and feeling like it's impinging on my work, instead of thinking about how it's all a part of my work and how fortunate I am to have meaningful work at all.
I think these are are pretty normal thoughts and I don't expect to be a perfect person and not have them. But I'm just noticing how crappy it makes me feel when I whine to myself, or when my ego starts squawking that I deserve better, more, now. It's been worse lately since I am going through a transition with my work, I've made choices to not take on so many orders, and I'm uncomfortable with it since I have no idea where that's going to land me financially over the next few years. Or artistically. Or anything else.
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The man who planted it told me it's
been there since the recession
started almost 5 years ago. |
There's part of me that has complete faith that the changes I've made in my work and personal life are going to take me where I need and want to go, and that place will also bring me more peace and a deeper expression in my art. And there's another part of me that craves success in the form of wider recognition, steady accolades, and financial rewards. This part of me can be very ego-driven and is never satisfied with what I have. It takes my ego about 2 minutes to forget the good thing that just happened to me and start demanding more. It makes me feel tremendously ungrateful.
It's very annoying and emotionally draining to listen this voice and for a while I was smacking it around and telling it to shut the fuck up. Well, that never works, the voice just gets louder. I've been doing some reading on the study of gratitude, the tremendous benefits it brings to your life in the form of better health and more happiness. The recommendation to feel more gratitude is to simply keep a gratitude journal, write a few things down every day that you are grateful for.
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I couldn't believe I didn't notice it
until a couple of days ago. |
I've done this before for a few days, and then I lose interest or focus. But since I am trying to detoxify myself from ingratitude, I took this as an opportunity to
buy myself a new notebook and get serious about it, and I've been writing 5 things in the morning, in the afternoon, and again before I go to bed. I'm committing to doing this everyday for at least a month, and I'm hoping it has a positive long-term impact on my attitude.
I'm feeling gratitude right now that I have people who read my blog. I'd love it if you would help me with my gratitude work over the month by telling me what you are grateful for.
This morning I am grateful for my new baby chicks that are asleep in their crate in my living room ( my Mother's Day gift) and for my daughter, home from college and upstairs asleep in her bed, and this quiet morning with only the sound of rain falling outside while I drink my coffee and read some blogs.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to give that ambition monster a rest, it's a greedy and ungrateful being, but it also drives us to create..... There just has to be a constant balancing....
What a nice morning you are having! I agree that the ego can serve us while still undermining our well-being, it takes constant awareness to keep it in check.
DeleteI spent 20 years working as a graphic designer before I was able to make pots full-time. I'm glad I had that career, I'm also glad it's over. Whenever I feel stressed or unmotivated about my pottery work, I remind myself about all of the worst aspects of design work, mostly having to do with stupid clients and their crazy personalities. It makes me aware that I now follow my own aesthetic goals, set my own deadlines, free of crazy people and their unreasonable needs. And I feel very grateful about that.
ReplyDeleteI never really had a career or many jobs outside of pottery except for working flower shops, which was pretty low-stress. But I do try to remind myself that life could have taken a different turn, and I could be sitting in Bay Area traffic right now, trying to get to work and wishing I could be in my studio!
DeleteI'm grateful I have a sister that writes blog posts for me to read and makes pottery for me to steal off of her shelves.
ReplyDeletexo
I was WONDERING where that pot went that disappeared the last time you were visiting!
DeleteThank you for this reminder -- I often find myself caught up focusing on all the things that feel absent and unfulfilled, but that isn't at all how I want to live. So...I am grateful for the long days of summer, the feel of grass under my bare feet, the wonderful shapes and textures of flowers and trees, the warmth and fragrance of chai held in a favorite cup, the chance to sit at a wheel and center my thoughts on porcelain spinning beneath my fingertips, and for a new nephew born this week.
ReplyDeleteIt's so easy to focus on what we don't have, human nature seems geared that way, I guess that is what makes us such great inventors and also such efficient destroyers of beautiful things. Congratulations on the new nephew, babies are so much fun.
DeleteThank you, Whitney!
DeleteEvery time I read one of your posts I sit there nodding ... yep ... oh, yep, I do that too ... I guess I'm not the only one ...
ReplyDeleteI can be such a negative person, to myself and others. I don't like that about myself. About a year ago I decided to change it.
I write 5 things I'm grateful for each day. Sometimes the things I'm grateful for are big and sometimes they're tiny. But when I skip a day I notice an instant difference. The nasty, negative voice makes a quick comeback both in my head and coming out of my mouth.
I skipped yesterday. But you have inspired me to give today a better start.
Today I am grateful for: ... cooler weather ... my son's sweet, smiling face ... my cat insisting that I pet him good morning ... a good laugh first thing in the morning ... and a new book for tonight.
Really we have so much to be grateful for. All of us. No matter how bad things are, there's always something wonderful if you just look for it. :)
The thing I like about this practice is that it makes me pay more attention to what I can be grateful for so I can write it down later. So I feel like I am appreciating more.
DeleteI am grateful for many things: that my family (children and their children - and even my great grandchildren) all live in the same city as I do and I get to see them regularly. That I can escape the winters here in Alberta and spend them in Hawaii where it is simply beautiful and relaxing. That I have been able to purchase some of the very best pieces of pottery over the years, including some like the little leaf, and tile and the most recent bowls, that are rare - and also share with my family and friends the exquisite pieces from your shop and absolutely know they love them too! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us who only know you from the internet and our dealings with you. It is almost like we know you personally - I laughed out loud when you bought yet another journal.... something I would definitely be doing as well... I love paper goods! Know that many of us here in Canada (and some in Hawaii have received gifts!) use your pottery with pride. You can be very proud of your accomplishments. (And your paperwork was exquisite as well!)
ReplyDeleteThanks Sheelagh! You are a dream customer and I am grateful to have you as a longtime client! (Now how do I clone you?)
DeleteI am thinking you may be interested in http://topfivemovement.com/ This is something my husband's cousin is promoting. Your 5 gratitude statements is a very similar concept. If Claire is anything to go by, this brings a lot of peace and energy. I am impressed that you have considered gratitude as a means to a better life. Life is so hectic it can be easy to forget to give thanks for what we do have and not always be looking for more, more, more. Good luck with your month long experiment. Check out Claire's web site, it might just spur you on.
ReplyDeleteI love the concept, thank you for the link.
DeleteAm grateful for your openness and honesty. Recently, I was evaluating whether or not to go deeper into wholesaling and I ran across some info I had printed out from your blog from way back in 2008 on the "rules of wholesale." When I reread them, it reconfirmed my decision not to put any more eggs in that basket.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm just wanting you to know that I appreciate all the experience and words of wisdom that you share. Am grateful!
Thanks Patricia! I'm grateful that people find answers in the things I write.
DeleteSo right! It is so easy to focus on that which we don't have.--like time. there's never enough. and energy. that too. But I am grateful for: my new studio shed sitting in my yard brimming with possibilities. The five minutes here and there, between tending to kiddos, where I can sneak out there and throw a pot or trim a platter. I am grateful for that first successful test run of my ancient kiln that I bought off craigslist without even knowing if it worked! It works!! (good thing, too, because this brand doesn't exist anymore) Grateful for the online yardsale i joined on facebook so i could sell crap i don't need and buy clay instead. Grateful for the support of my family--always steadfast, always cheering me on. And you, Whitney. Grateful for you-- your honesty, your inspiration, your talent. Your pots were the first ones I ever saw and thought, wow. I need to get into this more seriously. you are awesomesauce!
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