I wanted to share some thoughts about my new work with you all. I've been posting images around on facebook and instagram, so you may have already some of it. I've been pretty good about uploading it to Flickr, so if you want to see what I have so far, you can check it out there. Oh, and I am slowly uploading it to etsy, so you can see buy it there too.
My work has always been a slow morph-- it changes over time but the basic thread is still there. With this new work, a lot has changed really quickly. My work has always been tightly controlled and restrained. For many years, that's how I wanted to express myself in what I made, and it worked for me. I got so much satisfaction from making everything just so. After my yearlong hiatus from making work, the point from where I started again was even more restrained, even more dependent on making every line, every mark just so-- just so perfect. It was fun, even satisfying to scratch that itch I have for perfection, but I really felt as though I was just treading over the same ground, just in a different part of the park.
The new work just comes from a deep need to let that go-- move on or spontaneously combust. I was really inspired by a visit to Alcatraz Island, where there was an exhibit of Ai Wei Wei's work happening. I found myself drawn not to Wei Wei's work, but to the old walls of the prison, which have been painted over many times, and through years of neglect and exposure to the elements, were peeling and chipping off, layer after layer. The dated institutional colors, different hues of blues and greens mostly, were absolutely beautiful to my eyes, and I wondered how I could re-create some of that look on my pottery-- the layers, the colors, the decay of it all.
I love this new work so much, and I feel really proud of it. Every kiln I unload makes me happy, there are very few pieces that come out that I don't love. And whatever imperfections they may have are part of the work, it makes it better, which is very unlike my older work, where small imperfections could really mess up the look of a piece. And I feel like this is the direction I need to go, the work that has been waiting to come out. An artist friend of mine said to me years ago that it was time for me to get down and dirty with my work, to not be so precious with everything I made. Her words stayed with me all these years, and I felt the urgency, but despite my skill and talent, I just didn't know how to do it.
This puts me in a strange spot with my older work right now. The standard collection that I've been pumping out for the past 7 years or so is all slip cast now, and I have made the decision that a lot of that collection is going to be discontinued-- the cupcake stands, the bird bowls and vases for starters, and probably other items as I get used to saying good-bye to this work. But it's still with me, taking up a lot of space in my studio, and sometimes the things people say to me about this work makes me feel strangely defensive and even ashamed. Another artist friend of mine said, "I loved your cake stands, but enough with the cute already! I like this new work so much better!"
I've had many comments from other people that they like this new work better than my older work. Which is nice, it's a compliment and I know that, and I totally agree with them, but it gives me this feeling that I've been walking around with my underwear hanging out, and everyone has known it, and now they can tell me since I finally tucked it back in. It's just this weird shame. And the shame has actually been with me for a while, before I even started my new work, because I think I haven't grown much as an artist or developed enough new work in the past 3-4 years. It's my issue, and I'm dealing with it, so if you are one of those people who have said something to about to me and are now feeling bad, please don't. I just think that shame is a corrosive thing, especially when you don't talk about it, so me talking about it right now is just part of my process. If you have any thoughts about shame, not developing as an artist or anything else, please leave a comment.
My work has always been a slow morph-- it changes over time but the basic thread is still there. With this new work, a lot has changed really quickly. My work has always been tightly controlled and restrained. For many years, that's how I wanted to express myself in what I made, and it worked for me. I got so much satisfaction from making everything just so. After my yearlong hiatus from making work, the point from where I started again was even more restrained, even more dependent on making every line, every mark just so-- just so perfect. It was fun, even satisfying to scratch that itch I have for perfection, but I really felt as though I was just treading over the same ground, just in a different part of the park.The new work just comes from a deep need to let that go-- move on or spontaneously combust. I was really inspired by a visit to Alcatraz Island, where there was an exhibit of Ai Wei Wei's work happening. I found myself drawn not to Wei Wei's work, but to the old walls of the prison, which have been painted over many times, and through years of neglect and exposure to the elements, were peeling and chipping off, layer after layer. The dated institutional colors, different hues of blues and greens mostly, were absolutely beautiful to my eyes, and I wondered how I could re-create some of that look on my pottery-- the layers, the colors, the decay of it all.I love this new work so much, and I feel really proud of it. Every kiln I unload makes me happy, there are very few pieces that come out that I don't love. And whatever imperfections they may have are part of the work, it makes it better, which is very unlike my older work, where small imperfections could really mess up the look of a piece. And I feel like this is the direction I need to go, the work that has been waiting to come out. An artist friend of mine said to me years ago that it was time for me to get down and dirty with my work, to not be so precious with everything I made. Her words stayed with me all these years, and I felt the urgency, but despite my skill and talent, I just didn't know how to do it.
This puts me in a strange spot with my older work right now. The standard collection that I've been pumping out for the past 7 years or so is all slip cast now, and I have made the decision that a lot of that collection is going to be discontinued-- the cupcake stands, the bird bowls and vases for starters, and probably other items as I get used to saying good-bye to this work. But it's still with me, taking up a lot of space in my studio, and sometimes the things people say to me about this work makes me feel strangely defensive and even ashamed. Another artist friend of mine said, "I loved your cake stands, but enough with the cute already! I like this new work so much better!"
I've had many comments from other people that they like this new work better than my older work. Which is nice, it's a compliment and I know that, and I totally agree with them, but it gives me this feeling that I've been walking around with my underwear hanging out, and everyone has known it, and now they can tell me since I finally tucked it back in. It's just this weird shame. And the shame has actually been with me for a while, before I even started my new work, because I think I haven't grown much as an artist or developed enough new work in the past 3-4 years. It's my issue, and I'm dealing with it, so if you are one of those people who have said something to about to me and are now feeling bad, please don't. I just think that shame is a corrosive thing, especially when you don't talk about it, so me talking about it right now is just part of my process. If you have any thoughts about shame, not developing as an artist or anything else, please leave a comment.
I think feeling shame is not only an extremely common part of being an artist, but that it's an almost inherent feeling of the human condition. (unless your a buddhist monk). I have felt varying degrees of shame around my art over so many things. Whether it's from working for others for so long and not taking the leap sooner, or that my art is not technically proficient enough, or comparing myself to other artists who are wildly successful, or feeling shame that I'm not married to an amazing husband with kids and a big house...the list goes on. And then I stop myself mid-thought and say, "Gee I'm lucky to be blessed with the amazing opportunity to have an enriching life as an artist. What a gift! And that I get to wake up every morning at sunrise and start my day off surfing. And that the paintings I create fill me with so much joy that I'm bursting at the seams." The shame thing seems to be a dialogue that will always come and go, whatever the topic may be. So keep flinging clay in whatever ways feel right! I deeply admire the life and accomplishments you have created with your own bare hands! (And if your underwear is the only thing hanging out, you're doing better than the majority) ha! ;)
ReplyDeleteI agree. I'm so happy that as a culture we are talking about shame more because of people like Brene Brown. She thinks that we cannot be our full creative selves if we do not confront our shame. And maybe the opposite of shame is not pride, but gratitude.
DeleteI have long admired your success as a ceramic artist and a business person. The line of work that you created is loved by many and I am confident that your new work will be as well. For myself, my version of feeling shame is that I don't think of my work as art and I have trouble calling myself an artist. And to be honest about it, I have no desire to grow my work in a direction that would undeniably make it art. I am currently taking the Ben Cartwright / Molly Hatch "Think Big" course and I am intrigued by the perspective of these artists and those they have interviewed. To some extent, it has made me feel a little ashamed that I am content to make the somewhat ordinary functional work that I do. But then, I have to remind myself that others love using the pottery I create and I love making it.
ReplyDeleteI find that many ceramic artists have a difficult time calling themselves artists, which I find interesting. I think is it that weird cultural argument we keep having about art vs function and craft vs art blah blah blah. So boring. I think that if you know what your art (or craft!) is for and why you are making it AND YOU LOVE DOING IT you are so ahead of the game. But, I also know the feeling of thinking that I am somehow falling short of what other people are accomplishing and then feeling inadequate.
DeleteI love your "old" work. I have MANY of your pieces and they are elegant, simple and....direct. There is something different and experimental, not so easily discernible happening with this new work....I dont' think you need to compare the two. Sometimes things change for a person and their work changes too. I've been happy in a groove that maybe later could have been seen as a rut (endlessly recreating similar things). but there is a process to the whole thing and that cannot be fucked with. While its good to get outside your usual comfort zone/process that doesnt' have totally denigrate what came before! Dont discontinue the previous line! Now its more collectible, raise the price or whatever but don't disrespect all that design that came before. at least dont think about because who needs to anyway, just stay engaged.
ReplyDeleteYes, I don't want to denigrate the older work... I do LOVE it. I guess the problem for me is that in a way it represents a stagnation, even though it took a lot of juice to come up with it in the first place and frankly, financially carried me through a fallow period. I am kind of amazed that ideas I came up with 10 years ago STILL sell and have continued to support me.
DeleteHi Whitney- I love both your old work and your exciting new work. Ultimately art is about creating what makes you happy. At my last sale a woman said to me "You just lost yourself a sale. If this cup would of had a handle on it, I would have bought it." Not one hour later another woman entered my booth with a "Purchase Award". She bought six of those cups (without handles). As they say "You can't please all of the people all of the time." You are a master and have wonderful taste. Change is about growth. There's no shame in that.
ReplyDeleteThat customer sounds like the most annoying person in the world. You can't "lose" a sale you never had in the first place! I'm sure you've had this happen: you have a successful show where you sell a bunch of cups without handles, so for you next show you make a bunch of cups without handles. You go to the show and don't sell a single handless cup, but only the few cups with handles. I've learned that lesson so many times-- you just have to make what you make and let the sales fall where they may (or may not)!
DeleteHey Whitney,
ReplyDeleteI think that any creative person who is evolving will be tempted to feel less kindly about their previous work than the current work that they are now excited by. I look at some of my pots from a few years ago and I feel that shame you are talking about. I'm almost embarrassed that some of this stuff is out there in people's homes. The trick is to not see this new attitude as a reflection of the work as much as its a reflection of our own developing tastes. The person who made those old pots no longer exists. Or that person is slowly being replaced by someone new. Its like we are butterflies metamorphosing. So don't feel so bad. You are like a snake shedding its skin: The only way to grow is to leave something of ourselves behind.
On another note, do you see much difference between being a designer and an artist? I know the terms are filled with ambiguity, but my impression of your older work has always been that your interest was more design oriented. Looking at your new work I can see the individuality and expressiveness that for me characterizes an artist. Imperfection in design is a mistake. Imperfection in art is an opportunity. What do you think about these things?
All the best!
And keep up the good work!
Carter
I had a young artist write me recently and ask if it was "normal" to hate the work they had made a few months before. It made me laugh because it is SO normal and I told them that it was simply a sign that they were getting better.
DeleteRegarding art and design, I didn't see much of a difference until I read what you wrote a couple of times. I see your point that much of the work I've been making in the last years is more design oriented, which to me means a high level of function combined with a clean and easily interpreted aesthetic that perhaps is not so concerned with making a mark as an individualistic expression, but creating that light "ah-ha" moment when a person sees something that is pleasing in design. I think good design, like good art, takes a high level of skill and deep practice. But I agree that a mistake in design makes for sucky design, while in art can lead to a whole new idea, which I have found to be soooooo true lately. It's been funny for me that as I create this new work, I have to constantly remind myself to not try and re-create or copy an idea that I deemed "successful", but to keep trying new things and be brave enough to screw it up. Thank you Carter, for making me think harder than I like to, as usual. ;)
I don't think you should have any shame... I totally know where you are coming from from a personal level...but, both bodies of work have their audience. Some will overlap and some will not... it is really impressive to me that you "WENT FOR IT" and there you see... it has an audience too! I am sure I will change it up yet again... I always see this future in my head and yet... I am not there... but for now, I want to be in the now, not the past and work with the current work and who knows... I love that you did this. QUITE empowering!
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ReplyDeleteDear Whitney,
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog now for close to four years, and have always loved how you share both your triumphs and tribulations with your art career. Shame is something we need to feel from time to time, or else we get to comfortable with the status quo. Looking back at work from your past tells the story about how you came to where you are. I am a painter, focusing mainly on floral still-life paintings, and I have many cringe-worthy paintings from the past, but when they were created these paintings were not cringe worthy, in fact I was probably pretty pumped about them… It is only experience that makes us look back and re-evaluate our work.
Last autumn, I created two paintings that I really liked at the time, but now fast forward several months… and I am almost embarrassed by them, feeling ashamed that I did not push myself as much as I should have at the time. But it was not until time had passed did I realize this situation. So this year I have made a pact with myself to be A LOT more thoughtful about my work. To set up a still life, think about it, ponder its good points and bad points and to only move forward on painting it, if I think it has the level and depth I am now striving in my work. This experience from last Autumn taught me to think more and be more mindful of my actions.
Your new collection is obviously doing the same for you. I love this new series, and I love your older work because form and structure of your pieces are so perfect and beautiful. These are features of your work that will never go away, and now with your new work, you are inscribing a new layer of yourself in the work. Bravo, and keep on exploring and maybe feeling shame here and there to inspire you to try something new.
Again, thank you for writing this wonderful post and for sharing about your life as an artist,
Liz
Thank you for your thoughts and kind words Liz. For me, it can be a fine line between being not thoughtful enough and TOO thoughtful-- being stuck in my head about whether or not an idea has enough merit to move on, and then talking myself out of it. Right now, I feel like I have to move on ideas even if I'm not sure about them, and give myself permission to literally just trash the work if I don't like it in the end.
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